On the Pursuit of Perfection

Ok. I am not going to edit this blog. An exercise in letting it be.

I want to say that I am a bit ashamed that I have not posted here since December. ! I'll tell you why I haven't: I have wanted to find the perfect subject, the perfect words, the perfect morsels of wisdom to send out into the permanence of cached blog-world.

I am a business owner and this stands as a testament about my business, about my character. I have deliberated on how to present an ideal image that readers and customers might view with respect. That they might see my company as an inspiration, and be then compelled to spend extravagant amounts of money at www.emilysbeautyinbalance.com, shameless plug, please go spend money now ( ;

But I didn't only start this business to make money. If I wanted just money, I know several ways that I could make much more by doing much less. No, I wanted to stand for something, and be of some service, and grow a greater respect for myself through the process. I wanted to create a world of my own philosophy and embody that philosophy.

Well let me tell you, it ain't easy. Days and nights and long hours of work, struggling to get things right, discovering a plethora of my own weaknesses and faults magnified by the pace of a growing business, all of these things threaten that which I set out to accomplish - a balanced life.

I can't sit down to write pretending that I am the perfect business owner, that I have all of the answers, that I am some guru as part of me would like to be. I have strengths and shortcomings as we all do. And I realize now that I have let my fear of this imperfection hinder me from moving forward and really becoming part of the process of personal evolution.

It is very much like my previous entry Walking In Circles. That's precisely what I've been doing when it comes to writing this blog, and also many other things that affect my business and personal life. And all of the walking around this focal point represents a futile attempt to avoid what's pulling me to the center, where I am what I am - rather than what I would like to appear to be.

And in plain words (because, again, in this attempt to be something 'greater' I tend to flower things up), I just need to own who I am and stop trying to portray the all-knowing. I read a quote the other day in some business thing that said "If you admit a negative your customers will give you a positive." I don't know if that's the holy grail of business, but I do know that if you are confident in what you are doing and in what you are selling the flowery words aren't as necessary, and it is easier to admit that you are not perfect. In fact, it's liberating.

It's not like if I pretended to be perfect anyone would believe me anyhow..

The other day I contacted an old friend who had had some problems a while ago, and I thought that I had gotten to a place where I could offer some guidance. When she called me back the conversation took an unexpected turn. It turned out that this person was in a very good place and actually had a ton of guidance to offer me. I felt silly, and also grateful. I didn't know that I was looking for guidance! But the truth is, most people who try to tell are really just listening for something.

I want to listen more.

I have decided to start to interview people who have inspired me in the business world or otherwise. There is no shame in me not knowing everything, there is no shame in me not being able to figure out what to tell my followers (there are now two, both cherished) about how to better their businesses. I have had some success, but I have so much more to learn. The day when I think I know it all will be the day that growing ceases. Not that I ever did think I knew it all - I always knew I was far, but my mistake was in being ashamed to admit that to others.

I once read somewhere that one should never show his weaknesses. Maybe it was a fortune cookie..? Anyways I internalized that and thought it was important. But I realize now that so many things we perceive as weakness are in fact strengths in disguise. Our frailties make us beautiful.

So I don't want to be preachy. Do what you want. Be who you are, that is all the advice I can offer. For now I will include other people's wisdom, and when a specific subject comes up that I know something about I will share my experiences. Like Organic Lavender Distillate. I know a TON about that! Search engine optimization, I love it, I'm always learning more. For many things, I can tell you exactly what NOT to do. Hey, that's wisdom, isn't it?

Well thanks for reading, this is a new approach for me. It takes a lot of courage to step out and be completely candid about my insecurities. But I don't think that writing this blog will make someone decide they don't want to buy my lotion (It puts the lotion on it's skin). And if it does, I'm very sorry. You just missed out on the best lotion experience you'll ever not have.

Growth and Organic Evolution

Growth is a natural evolution of living things. I believe that if we are to achieve success in our businesses we must come to view them as living, breathing, evolving organisms that need our care and nurturing to survive and thrive.

Nurturing my company's organic evolution means listening to customers and observing the market. Just as it would be destructive for a parent to attempt to force a child to become exactly what that parent wants the child to be, it would not be constructive for me to force my company to become exactly what I envisioned regardless of what my customers and the market are telling me.

As counter-intuitive as it may seem to loosen our grasp, we must let go of rigid expectations and learn to observe with open minds. We must let our businesses grow and become what they will as we assume the role of a supportive parent honoring the child with guidance, gentle coaxing and unconditional encouragement.

In order to honor and exemplify the spirit of organic evolution, I am making a commitment to writing this blog in unhindered honesty and openness. I will share my thoughts, observations, mistakes, faults, lessons and accomplishments as they unfold in hopes that not only may I help others on their way toward success in business, but also that I might in turn come to better understand my own drive and motivations.

I believe that if we stay accountable to others and ourselves above all, conduct our affairs with unyielding integrity, honor our innate creativity and focus on the attainment of balance in our business and personal lives we can all experience success beyond our wildest expectations.

Walking In Circles

Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress. —Alfred A. Montapert

An Experiment

Try this: Find an empty field and have a friend track your path as you attempt to walk blindfolded in a straight line. Do you think that you could do it?

Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics say that you couldn't. Jan Souman and Marc Ernst of the Multisensory Perception and Action Group in Tübingenat claim to have proven what many people have observed---that without reliable visual clues humans are incapable of moving in straight lines. Left to our own devices, we can only walk in circles.

In what direction do lost men veer? Studies show that without reliable visual clues humans will walk in circles.

Souman and Ernst used global positioning to track walking trajectories of several groups of people instructed to walk a straight course through unfamiliar terrain. Results showed that when the sun was not visible, subjects repeatedly walked in circles.

Circular Thinking

One of the ways we prevent progress in our businesses is by engaging in what is known as circular thinking. In psychology this type of thinking is defined by the tendency to ruminate about the same thing over and over with no end in sight. It is a nonconstructive pattern of thinking that has roots in our mental conditioning and hinders us from seeing possibilities outside of our circle of thought.

For people suffering from disordered circular thinking it can be very difficult to break the cycle and escape from conditioned thought reflexes that influence behavior and outlook. Similarly, it can be equally as difficult for us to free our minds of repetitive and unfavorable thinking patterns that influence leadership and decision-making strategies in our businesses.
  


Directional Cues

So how do we jump out of our spiral and exit the proverbial roundabout? The answer is clearly defined directional cues. For a person to walk in a straight line he or she must be able to see a monument or visual marker to determine and continually correct for intended direction.

The observed trajectory of a blindfolded subject trying to walk a straight line. 

Likewise, without clearly defined goals and measurable guidelines how are we to know if our businesses are progressing in a linear direction or merely circling round and round like a blindfolded wanderer?



A beneficial directional cue can be something as simple as a vision statement. At its most basic a vision statement is a description, usually written, which broadly outlines desires and intentions for the future.

Other directional cues can be measurable guidelines for success including percentages, numbers or timelines such as "I would like to contract three new accounts every month between now and July," or "increase production by 7% in 2011."

Once goals are clearly defined it will be easier to judge progress and decide if you are indeed proceeding toward goals in relation to established "monuments."

Choosing Monuments and Fixing Focus

In cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps people modify faulty or distorted thought patterns and associated behaviors, patients are encouraged to break down large goals into smaller, more attainable goals.

For instance, one of my larger goals in business is to eventually sell a part of my company for a profit while still retaining a portion of the business and a seat on the board. Looking at that goal in its entirety can often seem overwhelming and unattainable. Yet when I break it down into multiple smaller short-term goals the task not only feels much more manageable, but also provides several monuments along the way that I can pass with renewed confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

Some of my smaller goals include hiring more employees, opening a few more stores, making a consistent effort to maintain organization and constantly recommitting to deliver the best products on the market at the best value with superior customer service.

These smaller goals can be in turn be broken into even smaller components, down to daily or even hourly tasks. And whenever I do hire a new employee or get a letter from an ecstatic customer, I have monuments to pass and acknowledge with confirmation that I am indeed moving along my intended trajectory toward ultimate success.

Navigating the Roundabout

Have you ever driven in a roundabout? These are road junctions where traffic circles around a central island. They are common in Europe and less common in the States. Recently a new roundabout was built in the small town of Valparaiso, Indiana. It was a new concept for the residents of Valparaiso, and many drivers admitted to cutting through a nearby parking lot to bypass the roundabout while others avoided the area altogether.

A diagram demonstrating how to navigate a traffic roundabout.

Mistakes were common when drivers panicked while navigating the roundabout, creating a dangerous situation and a high probability of accidents. One of the mistakes that drivers made was stopping in the roundabout. Traffic is supposed to flow smoothly and continually, and stopped vehicles can quickly turn into a pileup. Similarly we cannot allow fear of new situations in our businesses to paralyze us because as soon as we stop moving and adapting to changing conditions, problems are bound to accumulate.

The second mistake confused drivers made in the new roundabout was to keep circling and circling round and round, too afraid to exit. This fear comes from not understanding the system, and from understandably wanting to avoid making dangerous blunders. Better than stopping, continuing to circle can be a way of assessing the situation and formulating the best plan. But at a certain point, we must have the courage to make our move or risk circling forever and never reaching our destination.

Fear of Exiting the Roundabout

Do you ever fear making a move because you don't want to do the wrong thing? I know I sure do. That is part of life and definitely part of running a business. But just as there is a fine line between caution and paranoia, there is a fine line between preparation and procrastination.

Lately I have been trying to limit my decision-making time and just make a move. Of course my move must be well-informed, but I have learned that no amount of deliberating can ensure the perfect decision.

When exiting the roundabout, there is a small chance that we will end up driving in the wrong direction. However if we have checked for traffic, used our signal and driven with caution there is no harm besides a possible wasted two minutes if we have made the mistake of exiting south instead of north. We have our monuments. If they end up behind us we can simply turn around and head the other way.

When Circling Is Beneficial

At the end of the day, in business - as in life - there are no rules that can't be broken. In the Chinese martial art of Bāguàzhǎng the characteristic stance and integral part of training is a movement called circle walking, or "turning the circle."

Bāguàzhǎng master Chang Chan Kuei practicing circle walking, or "turning the circle."

Practitioners of Bāguàzhǎng face the center of a circle and walk around its edge in a variety of stances, changing directions as forms are executed. The practice of circle walking is revered as both beneficial and necessary for learning flexibility and proper alignment. 

Sometimes we do not have the knowledge or skills required to make an informed decision. Like the driver circling the roundabout to gather information we must educate ourselves in order to set a goal and choose our monuments. This can be likened to reading books, attending seminars or finding a knowledgeable mentor.

My Wacky Model of Spiral Progression

We don't need to get where we're going overnight, and we don't need to make the choice of where to go if we're not sure about who we are or what we really want. It's okay to reevaluate and reconsider; it's okay to change. I don' t think that I can set a goal and know that my desires in ten years from now will be the same as they are today. Yet I have a general direction that's based on my integrity, which I hope will not change but rather continue to get stronger. I might get caught up in a bunch of little tangents along the way, but I still move along - and that's why my path looks something like this:

My model of spiral progression.

I may be going in circles, but that doesn't mean that I'm not moving forward ( :

What does your path look like?